tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150292420798357067.post3322945833504566737..comments2023-11-05T07:52:41.876-05:00Comments on The Word From G: You Will Not Do ThisMr Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17397233594699904878noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150292420798357067.post-50139430305613411612014-03-25T09:23:15.680-04:002014-03-25T09:23:15.680-04:00Well said, Keith, and I agree with everything you ...Well said, Keith, and I agree with everything you say here. Now let me give three variations relevant to my current situation that I don't think are so easy to deal with.<br /><br />First, you and Cheryl have the advantage of loving each other greatly. Good for you; I am blessed with such a marriage as well, and I endorse your hidden point that that's the kind of love one wants to have in a marriage. Fact is, however, not everyone has it. Dealing with a spouse, or other loved one, whose love does <i>not</i> extend as far as willingness to go into a facility so that one's loved one(s) can have a life ... well, that ain't so easy.<br /><br />Second, you are blessed at the moment with self-awareness of your situation. So is Cheryl. But when one of you really gets sufficiently infirm that this painful decision must be taken, there is an excellent chance that that one won't be. That changes the dynamic considerably.<br /><br />Third, and most unfortunately, how about if you were <i>already</i> used to being waited on hand and foot, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse? You obviously aren't; your marriage is healthier than that. But for marriages that suffer from that dynamic ^h^h^h^h take the classically approved view of gender dynamics, there may be a fifty-year-high hill to climb to get to the outlook that you and Cheryl (and Emily and I) can see clearly.<br /><br />None of this invalidates your key points. On the contrary, it makes it clear how wise you are, not just in holding your position but also in making sure the two of you understand each other about them long before they are timely. But it ain't always so. I wish my FIL had read this before getting into the shape he's now in -- but even if he had, with fifty years of issue #3 under his belt by then, I'm not sure it would have mattered much.Graybloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04158788561510071210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150292420798357067.post-5913966128239444372012-03-07T14:39:36.040-05:002012-03-07T14:39:36.040-05:00Beautifully said.Beautifully said.jo(e)https://www.blogger.com/profile/01488562158252331555noreply@blogger.com